For two days now i’ve been told about how i am and how my mindset is as a person. I admit it i have fear and afraid to succeed in the things i do. It’s just when i feel like im doing something right it ends up to be something wrong or it wasn’t good enough. Soon after i feel discouraged and sorry for myself. I don’t want to be that way anymore because that’s how ill be for the rest of my life. I can’t feel sorry for myself i just have to take the criticism or the advice and apply it and make myself better at what i’m doing. I guess i just haven’t done that because im not happy with myself. I haven’t been happy in a long time. I’ll say i am to just put up a front so other people won’t ask about it, but i still show my sadness and i don’t want people to feel bad for me but i still manage to do that. I want to change and I know I can. It’s just if i have enough self respect towards me to do so. I don’t want to be sad and groapy and kuwawa anymore, I want to be that happy, excited, strive for excellence person i was named after. Excelsior: To strive for excellence and excel in the things i do. I don’t live up to my name and quite frankly i really want to do so now. I’m gonna be Excelsior and that’s all i can be and that’s who i’ll be. Excelsior Fortit Cerezo.
Anonymousschool is good. just doin my hw and such. trying to get things done as soon as possible. :)
Once again, ive taken another long walk and thought about many of things. School, family, life, but ive always been brought back to this one thought, i would talk about it but it’s too significant in my mind that i cant make my fingers type letters to describe it. The only things that i can say about it are, honestly, how else can i prove myself and be convincing enough to get a chance and be down right in those good graces of yours. What else do i have to do in order to finally be seen by you. I may never know. How will I know? Because sometimes i try but i can’t let go.
Good dance practice today learned more on musicality by listening to songs with complex beats and trying to find the medium and rhythm of each song. I guess im starting to find out my style and how i move as a dancer. I want to keep progressing and going further with dancing, i just love to perform and entertain. That speaks a lot about how i represent myself as a person. Outgoing, fun, interestingly weird. LOL!
What’s good recently? hmm idk just chillin, living life. Finally im going to the gym hahah, time to get back in shape not only for image but to rebuild myself as a person. have more discipline. Dance has been great to but havent had practice that often i really love going to the studio and just dancing for hours! haha hopefully next week it resumes on regular basis. I need to look for a job during the summer, haha i need work experience and make my own moolah while im at it. I hate asking my parents for money, i always try to avoid it, i just want my own money to save and spend. So far life as i know it is pretty good, tomorrow is TRIBES i say good luck to all the schools and especially evergreen the defending champions. But despite that title all the schools should just focus to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. I know school pride and other things are involved but the real reason for tribes is having everyone under one roof and have an amazing show. So tomorrow shall be veryy funn!
